Life is a rollercoaster, but I am holding on tight

From what you can gather things have not been good on the home front.  Clearly XBF has found himself something more than simply a friend with benefits.
I recognise the pattern. Was exactly the same with us. Long phone calls on a daily basis. Late nights together and then back to work (biggest difference I was the one driving back home, n ow he is). Accusing the Ex (on this case me, 7 years ago the previous one) of dishonesty and invading privacy, whilst he is the pot and the kettle is not as black as the pot thinks. He is probably feeding her the same stuff that I was told and I have to say believed. He is the innocent party and the Ex is the bad bad woman. I pity her in a way. She’ll find out just like the previous one and I did that his is not so innocent and is rather on the manipulative side. He is playing mind games with me and I don’t like it. It is as if he wants to control me and he can’t. I will not allow that anymore.
On that note I suspect that if he is checking up on my email he may be reading this Blog. If he is tough. I am not going to hold back what I think of him, which is not much on the positive balance at present.
Having said that It is hard. Very hard. I feel like I am disposed off as worn out goods that only can go in the rubbish. been kept around for longer than required due to convenience. Now there is a new flashier model and the old goes out.

So this is what I am doing: Tomorrow I am going to buy a car. My sanity is worth more than money. My colleagues husband is coming with me. It is his hobby. Then I am going to finalise my finances and I am going to move out. I will not be humiliated as I have been over the last few weeks. Whilst this is happening I am no longer buying anything for his food and I will not cook dinner. He got the first part. I think he missed the second. His problem. His doormat can do that for him. This evening XBF was not here and I have had a splendid relaxing evening. Feeling very very good for the most part. Saturday is fully fully booked and Sunday looks pretty full as well. Next weekend is also booked

And in the mean time I have found that I have many many friends in both hemispheres. I feel very loved by all and cannot thank them all for the support they have been giving me. I am definitely getting into an upswing, nearly at the top of the roller coaster, and that is where the fun starts.

PS need to put a good roller coaster rides on my list of to do things when back in Europe. Me thinks Efteling. I am not there yet, but I am pretty close to where I need to go.


About Gilraen

My blog is simply about my life. I moved countries for the first time in 1993. I lived in the Netherlands, UK and NZ. The initial idea was to keep my overseas friends up-to-date with what was going on in my life. The blog, like me, is always changing and evolving.
This entry was posted in Feelings, Friends, Home life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Life is a rollercoaster, but I am holding on tight

  1. Gilraen says:

    trinewarming wrote on Sep 29, ’06
    Oh that is such fantastic news! I’ll use an NZ expression: Good on ya!
    Get this break-up finished once and for all, and move on! I’m sure things will look a lot brighter from now on!
    And don’t you worry about that old rag of an XBF, just think of how nice life is going to be when you’re truly rid of him!
    Good luck with finding a flat of your own! Michael and I found ours on this webpage:
    maybe you can use it too?
    Hooray for the moving out!
    Lots of love!

    draakje wrote on Sep 30, ’06, edited on Sep 30, ’06
    If your going to the Efteling, Iĺl join!! My boyfriend has seen more than enough of it, having lived next to it all his childhood. But I’ll skip the rollercoaster. I have decided after the I don’t now how many times coming sick out of one that rollercoasters and I just don’t go together. Hope we can go soon!!!!

    gilraensurion wrote on Oct 1, ’06, edited on Oct 1, ’06
    That is sorted then
    We are going to the Efteling.
    More takers? In the Netherlands and outside all welcome.
    Ty when you are visiting Europe I am going to take you there as well. Very Dutch place. You’ll love it

    toyotomi wrote on Oct 2, ’06
    Nah, I worked there, just like draakje’s bf. Six Flags on the other hand is still on my list…

    draakje wrote on Oct 3, ’06
    I bet your wife would like to join us ………

    egeltje wrote on Oct 6, ’06
    Maybe we can catch up and find Roodkapje as well… She was taken by the ‘wolfe’ on Oct 4th (Animal Day in NL) and is still missing. Maybe an idea for a job opening…

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