Another more philosophical one.
Since moving back I have come to the conclusion that grey skies, though gloomy, are exceptionally beautiful. Nature going to sleep is so neat to see. Yes maybe I will get used to this again, but then again I never fully got used to the evergreen in Auckland
Yes yes hold you horses kiwi friends of mine, I know Auckland is not evergreen. It goes through a brown, dry spell in the height of summer and a period mid winter, which is almost similar to early Autumn here with lots of rain and some trees (exotics) loosing leaves However it is nothing like the changes we see here.
But the thing is I am noticing things about being here that I never saw before. I look around and I truly feel that I am rediscovering.
Why is it that we only see the beauty of home when we have been away? You notice it even when you have been on a holiday. But after such a long period of time, you notice the good things about your home country so much.
Sure I do notice the nagging and complaining whinging and whining the Dutch are so good at. But I also think that they do not know how good their lives are. They often have not seen really a different way of living.
Sure, you see a lot when you are on a holiday, but not real life. It takes leaving and living abroad to fully understand what you have, at least that is what I think or rather it is what I have noticed to be true for me.
It is almost as a rediscovery of me, and who I am. As if I’ve been searching for me for all these years and now fully realise that this is me, this is home and this is what I love.
I know it sounds corny, but even yesterday I was looking at my clothes and feeling a sense of drifting back into who I am appearance wise.
You all know I cut my hair in NZ back the the length it was when I moved there. I had it like that and a bit longer for years even in NZ. In a sense it was going back to who and what I am
Sometimes it makes me sad but really I also enjoy the endless feeling of wonder and rediscovery. I can so enjoy a long dark night. A cloudy day, wearing true winterclothes (which I have to buy from scratch)
I think over time I will get used to it again but for now I like this feeling. I do think however that living in NZ has enriched my life in a way that few other things could have. I have grown as a person. In a way it is akin to being a migratory bird. I have returned to the nest after going away and to discover. And what I really discovered is that there really is no place like home.
I am home, I have found my anchor and I have learned to look at all the beautiful things life has to offer.