Seriously I am relaxing! Yesterday I had a bit of a dip, but a good long walk eased the tension again. Weather yesterday was not stable enough for a skate/cycle tour so when the weather eased we went for a long walk.
The surroundings are dazzling at present as spring is ready to burst out. Our Japanese cherry tree is already blooming. It was wonderful as not many people were outside. The sun shines sharp at present and with all the water around the reflections in the clear water were amazing.
I had the same intense feeling today as i was cycling through town. Being a proper, house proud, lady of leisure, at present I shop for fresh food in town.
However it is more, cycling through town through that historic centre of ours I felt contented. I feel at home, at ease. I kept thinking looking at the old old buildings, yes this is what I really missed in New Zealand. The history, but also that total and utter feeling of being at home.
It is hard to describe without starting to sound as if I am dissing New Zealand, which I am not. I was actually comparing skies and thinking the strange beauty in both. The incredibly intense blue in New Zealand that you will never find here. when I look in the garden I think a Puhutukawa would look awesome here (but it would die, which is kinda counter productive) Yet somehow no matter how much I love new Zealand and how much I loved being there and thought I had settled. I don’t think I ever had this feeling of belonging I have now.
Sure I do admit early spring is amazing, with nature at it peak bursting with scarcely withheld energy. I feel its strength and it makes me jump up and wanting to clean, which brings me to the question is spring clean ingrained in our genes?
I mean honestly I feel a real urge to clean to make pretty and to make home more homely (see last blog entry). This is the positive aspect of the feelings I have and I think I should hold on to those. They are the ones that will help me to get rid of the stress.
Also the fact I am getting round to all these chores that have been lying around give me a real sense of achievement. I am on a good path again.