Stop me if I ever again

Stop me if I ever again volunteer to organise a hen party. It turned out fine and all (specifically the bride) were happy with it but really smooth sailing it was not.

I did not want to organise the hen party, I really did not. As is clear from earlier entries I had no time to do so. But the stag party for BIL had been sorted and none of SIL friends had stood up to organise anything. Her other SIL (W) was not to keen to do it either. She’s pregnant, tired, busy preparing baby room and works also full time, but we felt as nobody else was going to we’d pull together and do it.

Now I did not know her other SIL W well. She’s been with SIL brother two years and I only see her at family engagements. But we said we’ll do it and as it is she is just as stubborn as I am which came in handy. Now after having had lunch with her and organising this I do know her well and I really do like her. She knows how to organise people and I know how to organise stuff. We worked well together.

The easy part was getting addresses. W got those then we picked a date with input from participants. So far so good. Then to pick what to do. The bride had left me and W with strict instructions on what she wanted. Of course we were the only ones that intended to listen.

Much to our surprise a huge discussion started on what to do. Most options were too expensive, not all inclusive, SIL had done within the last two years or plain awful. So in the end W and I decided on something we knew SIL would like, was cheap and all inclusive. You’d think everybody happy. Not! What we had selected was boring, dull and no fun, according to a few including the one we call ms vocal. We got the impression nobody had checked out the link we posted as, though not a ‘interesting’ or ‘naughty’ or ‘dumb’ or ‘tasteless’ as the suggestion of a stripper, boring it was not. Most certainly it was creative.  W and I at times wondered if these ladies really knew SIL well.  W and I really got the feeling that we got an earful and that nothing was good enough for at least one of the rather vocal ladies. We kept telling each other “She’s not our friend, and does not have to be”. I mean one of them said “oh well with the short notice it will do, but I am sure we could have made it fun with more time”. Well lady nobody stopped you from stepping up to the mark earlier but you did not. We her SILs did because her friends did not. In the end ms vocal suggested a gift basket which both W and I thought was OK  and we told her to organise it. And I admit she did.

What everybody did agree on was dinner together. Somebody suggested tapas. As a new tapas bar had just opened we thought it a good idea to use that. We made reservations there. That part was never a big issue. Only the first part was. As for dress up; just a white hat which personally I thought was enough. Just to clarify; I really loath those awful dress up and get blithering drunk hen parties that you sometimes see. I usually feel a sense of displaced embarrassment for the B2B. No way was I going to organise something like that for somebody I actually like.

So what awful, horrible, dull and boring thing did we do? We made a soap chain. No not a soapbar on a rope. Nothing like that at all. It involved a choice of soaps instructions and lots and lots of wonderful beads. As soon as we entered the store the magpie in most women appeared. They saw the venue and it tuned out not what they had expected – except for those that actually had read the link.

SIL was chauffeured in by SO, which had totally bowled her over when she expected a bunch of women. When she arrived she was delighted as it is one of her favourite stores and she’d wanted to do a workshop there for ages (which I did not know). SIL walked in with a huge grin. When she found out what we were going to do she exclaimed; “What a wonderful idea, I love it, what fun” . Our greatest critics where instantly silenced and W and I knew we’d been right choosing this. As it was a hen party the shop has an added extra. We were told we could each select a little pendant and they’d make a charmbracelet for her as a remembrance. Everybody loved that idea and we each chose something that was personal for us to her. In the end everybody had a lot of fun doing it except maybe ms vocal.

Then it was off to the restaurant and we did have in fact a lot of fun there. It helped that ms vocal was at the other end of the table. In the gift basket we had all left a gift. I had made SIL a night T-shirt with her main children’s cartoon favourite on it (heat transfer) There is a lot for sale with these cartoons, but nothing for adults so I made her something. She loved it. I could see she was happy with it. W had given her a collage of family pictures and a really sweet poem. SIL was touched and in tears. The charmbracelet she adored as it was so personal. She got a lot of other funny, lovely and sweet things and she was ever so happy.

The evening was fun as not all knew each other. Some another people joined us that had not wanted to be part of the dull thing. When they saw what we’d actually made and the charm bracelet at least one of them wished she’d joined. Anyway  we ended up discussing Tupperware. Seriously we were showing our age there. A hen party and discussing sippy bottles for babies and stuff. We called it quits by 22.30. Most women have young children who’s be waking them up by 6.30 and/or had to drive for another hour or so. I asked SIL if she was happy with what we’d done and she said she’d loved it and that it was awesome. Mission accomplished and case closed. Never ever organising another hen party though.

Today SO is to the stag party for the men. Hope that is not being rained away 🙂

An example of what a soapchain may look like (from

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About Gilraen

My blog is simply about my life. I moved countries for the first time in 1993. I lived in the Netherlands, UK and NZ. The initial idea was to keep my overseas friends up-to-date with what was going on in my life. The blog, like me, is always changing and evolving.
This entry was posted in Decisions, Family, Feelings, Friends, Home life, Stuff, Wedding, Weekend and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Stop me if I ever again

  1. draliman says:

    Well done for ignoring the dissenters and organising something the bride-to-be would actually like. She is, after all, the most important person there!

    • Gilraen says:

      That is what I felt, she was important, not them. After the wedding I’ll probably never see the majority again. Thankfully 🙂

  2. Emily says:

    Sounds like you “took one for the team”. I hope the good karma for organizing this comes around for you sometime!

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