It has been a weird few weeks for many reasons. Some good (which I will blog about later). Some not so nice. SO and I have had a number of people fall away. Nobody in our inner inner circle, but close enough to be affected. In part as most of them were our age or even younger. It hits home then that life does indeed end, and for some way way too soon.
The reasons for the untimely deaths have been multiple. Longer devastating illnesses (cancer) and just body parts (heart, arteries) giving in. The result however is devastating to the next of kin. The inner circle grieves with them. We on the other hand have a different type of grief. Not even sure it is grief. It is emotional to see loved ones grieve and I find myself pondering a little much. Most of it is wanting to help those that have really lost and knowing that all you can do is offer support, a shoulder to cry on, send a card and think of them.
We were on the outer rim of the shockwave that is loosing a loved one. We felt the shock, but did not have the devastation. Our life on the outside is unscathed and yet it is not. We see those that we do care about grieve. We lost a little of our innocence and were confronted with what can happen, what is there to be lost.
Because three of those losses happened within a week and a half (a fourth one just a month ago) it hit us hard. The emotional hit for me coincides with work change/reorganizations, with new types of work and a course. Just all feels a bit much together. I know it is just all coincidence and that we will get through it, but I can’t help feeling that the emotional wringer is doing a great job at present. Just hope that we have reached the end of that one and that the shockwave does not come any closer.